Self respect

I once worked for a complete and utter pig. He was such an idiot that he took me around the office on the day I quit and pointed at all the beautiful women who worked there, like they were his own personal harem. You're gonna miss all this pal, is what he said, as if I had a personal satisfying sexual relationship with all of them. All I could think was you are a loser, and I walked out the door.

Until that day, I had never worked for such a complete dirt bag. I was one of those people who believed that authority figures are deserving of their role. They somehow earned it. This guy changed that forever. It was a very liberating experience. All I have to do now is the immediate job before me, take complete responsibility for my role and that's it. It doesn't matter one little bit about whether or not my boss loves or hates me.

Where most people fall down is that their sense of themselves becomes inextricably linked to their job. I am good at this.  I do this good thing in that company.  These authority figures say that I do this.  This lovely pay cheque is what proves it. I see this sort of thinking as a disaster waiting to happen.

If you're not strong enough in who you are completely distinct of work, to see it as one big game of money and that's all, you risk being manipulated by people like pig boss. This is really the bottom line. Your self worth has to come from inside: who you are, what you know you're all about. Take complete control and responsibility over your life. This way you transcend the good boss, bad boss scenario. It doesn't even phase you. You live for you, your friends, and your family.

In fact, much later in my career at a completely different company a very good friend of mine got very upset with me for this exact thinking. I had taken an unpopular business position that had brought a lot of criticism upon me from nearly everyone in the department. It appeared very likely that I would be terminated for my unpopular stance. He was my true friend and so he wanted the name calling to stop. He came right out and told me I needed to change my position so that people could start treating me with respect again.

I asked him if he respected me. He did. I asked him who else besides him was worth changing who I am and what I believe in just so they could respect me. He couldn't think of anyone. I said right then. It turned out that people came around to my position which made him very happy. Doing the right thing, having self respect is much more important than all the respect of all the people you'll ever work with or for. He is still my very very good friend and he still respects me and vice versa. I wish everyone the personal gift of self respect and self worth. You really haven't lived until then.

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