Fear, uncertainty, and doubt

Fear, uncertainty and doubt are great motivators. There's no doubt about it. People are shaped by their fears. Our fears keep us from realizing our dreams and prevent us from changing bad habits. They say the fear of job loss in North America is the single greatest fear among men. It is greater than the fear of dying or losing our spouse. Now think about that. Our deepest fears are related to job loss. Doesn't it make sense then that the positive and negative things that happen at work potentially weigh on our subconscious minds? Doesn't it make sense then that our jobs poetentially shape who we are? Our only defence then is to learn to accept this fear and take responsibility for it. By doing this, we take control over our single greatest motivator.

Where it gets tricky is when you're actually afraid. When you're afraid, thinking rationaly, or remembering some wise thing you read somewhere, written by some person who may or may not know anything is hard. Remembering your own birthday can be hard when you're really afraid. Start simple then: recognize what you do when you're afraid, or frustrated, or angry -- all fear inspired emotions. Do you get quiet? Do you yell? Do you rant about nothing? Do you scratch your arm? Do you call your wife? What do you do when you're afraid? Think about it. Remember it. Recognize it. Use it to raise your own internal alarm. I am afraid. If I let it control me, I am not likely making good choices.

Make a battle plan for fear: excuse yourself! Everyone needs to go to the washroom, and no one ever asks you why, no matter what the circumstances. Next time you spot your fear, excuse yourself. Go get a drink of water. Make a silly face. Humm a song like Kumbaya. Do anything that helps you to break out of your fearful little moment, Then go back and face the world.

There are common things that add to our inability to cope with fear: poor eating, lack of exercise, inadequate planning, no preparation, disorganization, false expectations, unrealistic goals, faulty logic, bad social skills, arrogance...the list is long and specific to each and every one of us.

Incubus wrote a great song about the influence fear has over our lives. It's about taking back your life from the destructive influence of fear. I listen to it all the time. It reminds me that's it's my life, and I should stand up and live every single minute of it, and so should you.

When I feel the sting of fear, I pretend that I'm surfing. I pretend that the world is my own personal surf board. It makes me smile, thinking of hurtling through space with the planet earth as my ride. For whatever reason, my fear slips away and I focus on moving toward my goals. While it may not work for you, something that makes you smile and focus will work. Just keep heading toward your goals, fear be damned.

Suffice it to say, that, if you take complete responsibility for your life, fear included, it's more likely to go your way. Positive well prepared people have more fun, and don't seem to be weighed down by fear as much as the rest of us. They're too busy enjoying life.

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